Tears and Time

This morning I heard Caitlin as she came up the stairs whimpering. She had just woken up. As I met her in the hallway she dropped her much loved little pink teddy, looked at me with huge sad eyes and asked, “Where’s Grandma?” I told her that Grandma had gone home. I literally saw the entire surface area of her eyes glaze over with tears as her face fell and she burst out crying. I moved to her and knelt to engulf her in a huge hug. As her tears overwhelmed an area too small to contain them and spilled down her wobbling cheeks, she quietly said, “I miss her”. Well, already feeling sad at Janet’s departure I found it impossible to keep my own eyes dry. I gently reassured her, "Yes, it is sad that Grandma has gone home and I miss her too." I carried her into the study and there we sat snuggling on the sofa for a few minutes as Caitlin repeated, “I miss Grandma” and added, “I’m so sad”.

Her next question, which provides huge insight into my 3 year old daughter’s priorities, was, “After this day is it Halloween?” Yesterday morning, Caitlin lay fast asleep beside me in bed and then groggily raised herself from the pillow and flopped down on my chest. With eyes closed and thumb extracted from her mouth just enough to form the question, she inquired, “Is it Halloween this day?” (I just love her way around the use of ‘today’ and ‘tomorrow’ in her speech). Caitlin has grasped that the month changed from September to October yesterday. She understands that Halloween falls in October. She just can’t comprehend what the end of the month means…could it be an age thing? All this leads me to believe that for the next 29 days I will start my day greeted with the question, “Is it Halloween this day?” I am attempting to prepare myself for the evolution of my response over the course of the coming month. I am striving for a patient, cheerful refrain clearly steeped in bemusement at my adorable child’s cute ignorance of all things temporal. Wish me luck.

A couple of photos taken of Caitlin early this cold, wet autumnal morning:

Caitlin fully embracing the nature of the day

Caitlin eating her breakfast