Mothering Me

I was sick last week. It started Monday night. I felt myself drained and went to bed at 8pm. I was asleep by 9 but then woke up at 4am with nasal congestion and feeling wide awake. On Tuesday, during the day I felt fine, just a little tired. Tuesday night was a repeat of early to bed and early awake, more nasal congestion. Wednesday night I got no sleep at all with both congestion and coughing. This last week of illness was very odd really. During the day, at first, I was fine. I hardly felt or seemed ill, but I knew something was there lurking, waiting for nightfall to mount its attack.

Thursday was the pivotal point in the week. I was exhausted and decided what I needed was a complete day of rest. I had previously arranged a friend to pick Caitlin up from school and mind her for the afternoon. My plan had been to spend the day being creative at my friend Linda’s art studio. I struggled with the decision I finally made to cancel but realized that the prospect of about 6 hours alone at home with no children was just too good an opportunity to pass up to rest. So I took Ashley and Caitlin to school, stopped at the supermarket to pick up grapefruit and then returned home. I put on a load of laundry and washed dishes and then had to force myself to remember that the best thing for me to do was rest, not do housework! I ran a hot bath and leisurely soaked in the tub remembering how much I miss Japanese onsen. I made myself an early lunch and carried the tray downstairs to bed, where I enjoyed that in a leisurely fashion too. After that I was warm, full and feeling relaxed. A mere ten minutes of reading pushed me over the edge and I slept solidly for a couple of hours.

For the next few days I sounded sick, that husky voiced syndrome that initially confuses friends when you leave them voicemail. But oddly, other than feeling a little tired and achy, with a hacking cough, I didn’t really feel ill. I realize now that it’s because for the entire week I didn’t feel grumpy or grouchy or short tempered or impatient with the girls or my hubby as I usually would with such an illness. I put it down to allowing myself to mother me. I was only necessarily busy throughout the week. I allowed myself to engage in activities that energized me. My book club friends and my scrapbooking friends encouraged me to come to my eagerly anticipated activities despite my illness. As one of them said, “if we all stayed home when we got sick in the Fall and Winter we’d never see anyone ‘til Spring.” I had friends who offered their assistance and I took some up on it. And I took a day off. I feel I‘ve made a giant leap in taking care of my family. I start with me.