Seeing with Gratitude

This afternoon I had an appointment with my optometrist to address a problem I’ve been experiencing with my right eye. About four weeks ago my eye became itchy and over the course of about two or three days I experienced itchiness and tingling from the top of my forehead, on the right side, to the tip of my nostril, on the right. Branches of capillaries appeared on the eyeball and my eye felt uncomfortable in its socket. As these symptoms started to subside the back of my eyeball began to hurt and my vision started to fluctuate in that eye. Again, after a day or so most of the symptoms had disappeared save for the blurry/fluctuating vision, some sensitivity to light and a sense of the eyeball feeling lethargic in the socket. I didn’t see my doctor or optometrist at the time as I had my annual physical coming up. By the time I saw my doctor most of the symptoms had disappeared and she thought it sounded like an infection or something perhaps stimulated the nerve (hence the tingling). Well, four weeks on and my eyeball still feels uncomfortable, my vision is still somewhat blurred in that eye and the light sensitivity remains.

So I went to see my optometrist, Dr. Balter, who gave me the most comprehensive examination my eyes have ever received. I was particularly impressed with a new piece of technology for examining the retina, called the Optomap (http://www.optos.com/us/Products-Services/About-optomap-products/optomap-Retinal-Exam/). It takes an image of each of the retinas, which is then available on a computer for review between doctor and patient. It is designed to detect very early signs of various diseases, including diabetes and heart disease (a very handy early diagnostic tool given my family history). While my retinas appear beautifully healthy, Dr. Balter discovered that the problem lies in my cornea. The cornea is swollen. There are some inflamed cells behind the cornea and some abrasions on its surface. He can’t tell what caused this and, of course, even I realize now that I should have gone to see him while I was highly symptomatic. Our course of treatment at present is a 5% saline eye drop 4 times a day for the next 10 days to try and reduce the swelling of the cornea and hopefully restore the clarity of my vision. He was reluctant to use any mild steroid at the moment (another more invasive treatment option) in case the problem was caused by a virus, which would likely flare up again if steroids are introduced. After the 10 days of the eye drops he hopes to see everything cleared up or at least significant improvement. If not we’ll look at other diagnostic and treatment options.
 
Meanwhile I am finding myself feeling more grateful for my iPod, which allows me to listen to books when it becomes too uncomfortable to read. Moreover, each day over the last 4 weeks I’ve been thinking about my friend Linda who had a stroke a few years ago and is now legally blind. Knowing Linda has helped we understand a little of what it is like to be in the world with significantly impaired vision. And while Linda amazes and inspires me with how she lives her life in spite of her disability, I do realize just how vital each of our senses is to our interaction with our world. I’ve often pondered those party game ‘if’ questions, such as: If you could only keep one of your senses, which would it be? If you had to give up one of your senses, which would it be? I wouldn’t want to experience the answers to either of these questions. I am confident that my cornea will recover and my vision will be fully restored. After that I will pay more heed to my body’s signals when something just isn’t right and have it checked out more promptly. In the meantime, let’s all pause a moment and feel a surge of gratitude for our vision…