Compassion and the Lord of War

As some of you know, a couple of years ago I read 'Ethics for a New Millennium' by the Dalai Lama and it had a huge impact on me. From reading that book I extracted ten values that I decided to focus on and incorporate into my life. These are: love, compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, humility, responsibility, harmony and peace.

At the start of this year I decided that I would take each value and spend a month studying and reflecting on it to better integrate it into my life. This month I've been focusing on compassion. I've noticed so far that all of these values are very much interrelated so that looking at them as a single concept is not really possible. Love, compassion and forgiveness have come up a lot this month. I've gained a lot from reading 'The Compassionate Life' and 'An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life'-both are written by the Dalai Lama. A third book of his, 'The Wisdom of Forgiveness', also gave me a better understanding of the Buddhist concept of emptiness. This is a core concept in Buddhism and my rudimentary understanding of it so far is that nothing exists in and of itself. That means that nothing is single, independent and permanent. All things are inter-related and everything is impermanent. Understanding how interdependent we are with all things underlines the importance of compassion. What happens in one part of the world comes back to effect us. The more we consider others the more we benefit. It's what the Dalai Lama calls being "wisely selfish".

An important part of engaging in the Buddhist path is recognizing how our habitual thought, emotional and behavioral patterns cause suffering for both others and ourselves. Concentrating on compassion this month I am realizing, in retrospect, that I have been experiencing what Susan Salzberg calls “a heart as wide as the world”. I’m realizing just how vulnerable an experience this can be. On Friday night James and I watched Lord of War, based on actual events and starring Nicolas Cage as an international arms dealer. It was a hard film to watch just in terms of facing the level of violence that is taking place the world over. The Dalai Lama has consistently advocated for the world to be demilitarized and his arguments make sense. Watching this film, it hit me how enormous a task this would be and I questioned whether or not this could even be a possibility with the current state we have gotten ourselves into in this world.

On Friday night and over the weekend I found myself experiencing what I can only call a state of depression over the sorrow I was feeling for the state of the world, the enormous amount of guns in circulation and the role governments play in arms dealing (the five “permanent UN Security Council members—the USA, UK, France, Russia, and China—dominate the world trade in arms”.

I have to admit I am currently feeling very discouraged about the state of the world. I’m trying to move forward by reflecting on a passage from ‘The Compassionate Life':

"We need to recognize that as long as we live in this world we will encounter problems, things that obstruct the fulfillment of our goals. If, when these happen, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face these difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that not just we but everyone has to undergo suffering, this more realistic perspective will increase our determination and our capacity to overcome troubles. By remembering the suffering of others, by feeling compassion for others, our own suffering becomes manageable. Indeed, with this attitude, each new obstacle can be seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind, another opportunity to deepen our compassion! With each new experience, we can strive gradually to become more compassionate; that is, we can develop both genuine sympathy for others’ suffering and the will to remove their pain. As a result, our own serenity and inner strength will increase".

As well as this passage, I’ve been remembering how I used to counsel clients through very vulnerable moments, encouraging the recognition that we can be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It only becomes a weakness if we let it incapacitate us. Stephen Covey makes an excellent point, in ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’, that often we focus on issues that are outside our “circle of influence”, basically outside our immediate control. Focusing on such issues drains us of our energy and can lead to discouragement. I am forced to recognize that on a global level there may not be much I can do about the current state of the world. The most effective action I can take right now is the proverbial “Think globally, act locally”. I just need to regain the wind that has been knocked out of me. I have to say I gain a lot of strength thinking about my friends. Many of you are going through trials of your own right now (for example, recovering from cancer, loss of eyesight, grieving the deaths of family members and friends, relationship challenges and breakups). The courage you demonstrate is a reminder to me that we are the world and how each one of us faces life’s challenges impacts not only ourselves but others immediately around us and from there on out into the world. It is not lost on me the connection between the words courage, discourage and encourage. For a long time I have held dear the words of Ghandhi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Right now I need to regain the courage of this conviction. Thanks to all my family and friends for constantly serving as inspirational reminders to me that there is strength in vulnerability and there is a lot of good in the world too.